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Thursday, May 1, 2014

Beginning of Something New

So May 1st has come! Where am I? In the most amazing place possible!!!! MY HOME!  It's still quiet with both kids and my husband sleeping but of course that wont be for long.

Since it's so quiet I started thinking about last year and this time and my thoughts on where we would be as a family, where i would be myself, and how we would be going about our daily lives. I can honestly say that I am both satisfied and upset with myself depending on the situation. Really I know that we are all that way at some point. Happy with some things and then with other we think to ourselves, " what the heck happened?".

So because I've gotten upset with some things I realized those things needed to change ASAP!! Which is why the previous blog I had been doing I'm doing away with! No point in living in the past and dealing with those who only make me want to scream uncontrollably 3/4 of the time!

I've come to realize over the past 5 months who my friends are, who we can trust, and who has only made our lives more difficult instead of enlightening them. My husband and I have basically gotten rid of those who we don't believe enrich our lives and instead of replacing those people with others we have chosen to replace them with quality time with each other and our little family. This has changed the whole dynamic of our relationship and marriage! It has been an bumpy road on some things but seeing how much we have grown as a couple over the past few months has shown both of us that the other will do anything to fight for them and will do anything to make things stronger between us. It has been such an amazing experience and I wouldn't trade any day of it for anything!

One thing I have thought about changing that is a bit more difficult is how to stand my ground and stand up for myself.  Not really with friends because the few that I really talk to know my boundaries and I have no problem standing up to them but more with family members (not in a bad way or witchy way just on the little things that I or my husband should have the last say on not others) and with my son's doctors (that one is a MUST!!!!). I've noticed that its much harder to do this with the doctors because I want to believe that they know what is truly best for our son but when they don't live day in and day out with our son its hard to take some things they say and run with them. Maybe if there was a specialist that he saw that checked on him or returned calls more than once a month I would agree with them more. This is just a personal issue I seem to be trying to work out for this new year.

I have been blessed this year and been able to really kick my home business of Lou Who Designs into gear. With my business I have been able to do bows, tutus, headbands, bow holders, headband holders and many different types of crochet items. All things that I love to do and now have the pleasure of making them for others and putting a smile on their faces. It has been nice to have an outlet that I don't have to share with anyone in my home. NOW I know that makes me sound like a bad mom and wife because I don't want to share. Well until you stay home 24/7 with  2 children one being disabled and needs full care at all times and still trying to keep the other happy, feeling loved, and playing with her as well as doing all the house work and making all the meals you have no idea how amazing it feels do something even in the middle of the night that you can do just by yourself and in peace and quiet. I will never feel bad about taking those few moments to myself and enjoying it!

At the beginning of this year I started going to the gym. That has proved to be a difficulty for me at times. I haven't been able to go as much as I like because my only time to go is in the middle of the night and of course there are plenty of times that I just really want to sleep at night not be up and at the gym.  But as I look at myself from this time last year to now I realize I NEED TO GO WAY MORE OFTEN!! After I got married last July to the first of January I gained 30 lbs!!! I know the holidays were in there and the weather got colder but those excuses are just that excuses not actual facts. The facts are that 1) I ate all the time!!! 2) even though my diet had to change due to having celiac disease i still ate the junk food that I could. 3) that nasty deceiving drink called diet pop is totally not diet!!! Heck after researching it this past week its better for you to have the calories from the regular pop that try and digest the stuff that's in diet pop.... BIG EYE OPENER!!!!!  4) I HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME FOR MY WEIGHT GAIN BUT MYSELF!!!! ......... So with the facts being said what am I gonna do about it? 1) NO POP!!!! 2) No fast food or restaurants for at least the next 21 days ( they say 21 days is how long it takes to kick a habit/craving) 3) no junk food!! 4) work out  5) relax and really think about the choices that I am making when it comes to my foood, drink, workouts and sleep habits. I am the only one that can change the way I look and feel about myself and even though my husband still loves the way I look I need to feel better about myself. NOT saying that  I want to be so skinny that I look sick but I want to feel good in my clothes and not feel like I to wear a hoodie ever day of my life.

Well now that the family is getting up for the day I should get to helping them all, but now that I am doing a fresh start beginning today you all should be hearing from me a lot more! Have a great day!!!
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