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Wednesday, May 28, 2014

When Staying Strong is All You Can Do

   I've tried to take the past two weeks and really spend time with my little family and get to a level with them that if anything were to happen to one of us we would be able to carry on in time as a family still. Through this I have learned a lot. All of which I'm positive I've known but it was kind of like a refresher course.

   With my husband I've learned that quoting random quotes from any of the 1000+ movies we've watched together can put a smile on his face at any time! 

   With my daughter I've learned that she never forgets! I was giving her a bath and I told her to look up at the sky so I could wash her hair without getting water and soap in her eyes. Without missing a beat she goes," oh the sky like where Nana lives with Jesus and they crochet". That moment made me instantly smile and cry. I haven't used that phrase with here when referring my mother since she was 2 and she's now 4. She always knows how to make me smile! 

   With my son I've learned a smile even if for a brief moment is a moment without him being in pain. AND he's okay with that. I should be too. 

   We've had these last few weeks as more of a focus on our little family as we have begun to prepare for our sons MRI this upcoming Friday. We've been trying really hard as a family and I've been trying really hard as a wife and mother to keep some things from others until we know more of whats going on and what to expect. Through all this of trying to do things for our son I've been having my own battle that is getting more and more difficult to try and keep under wraps and deal with. My immune system is having an incredibly hard time recovering from my bad kidney infection over a month and the doctors aren't sure what is going on. I've been battling every day to try and keep enough energy to get through the days and spend time with my kids and I truly think that is the reason I'm able to get up in the morning  is my amazing kids. 

   I keep telling my husband of course I'm fine because truthfully since I have no idea what is going I don't want to give him any thing else to worry about. He is such an amazing guy that provides every day for us and is always constantly worried about our son that until there is truly something to worry about I want to continue to make him smile!

   We aren't the only ones trying to get health back in line since yesterday we've found out that our sister in law is having troubles with kidney stones again. She has had A LONG battle with these and on the 6th they are hopefully going to be able to give her some answers. I was thinking to myself earlier that I don't think our husbands (they are brothers) realized we would be such a hot mess not long after marrying them. I was just trying to make myself smile a bit and hopefully if my sister in law sees this she will smile too! Praying hard for her! Now knowing just how bad kidney pain is after that infection last month I wouldn't wish that type of pain and suffering on anyone and I really hope what ever is causing this for her gets resolved quick and painless for her. She deserves it!!!

   When you're a parent of a disabled child or really any child in general you live for that child not for yourself. When something comes in your way of being able to really live for that child you fight like heck to get back to the way you are to be able to live for that child again. 

   I remember when my mother was battling breast cancer and with everything going on she still made it to all my games, any school function I needed her at and she did it with a smile. It was then that I knew just how much my mother loved me to put herself in pain just to be there for me.No matter what goes on I want to have that strength and determination to be able be there for my kids at all points in time!

   Everywhere I look these days there is this one quote and I have always thought it about my mother and love it to this day.... " When staying strong is all you can do"...  I think that quote can fit so many people in so many different situations that it even though I see it everywhere I should be seeing it a lot more! 


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